Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
