Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
