It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
