She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
