i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
