Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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