I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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