Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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