a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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