oh god the rape fog is back!
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
