My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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