If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
No subtext here. People are naked.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
