haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Randomize
