I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
