When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
