we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
