i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
