i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
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