just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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