We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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