next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
