my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
