Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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