Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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