I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Randomize
