If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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