I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
