oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
