guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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