he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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