Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
