Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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