my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
