hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
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