Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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