you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
