Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
