I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
