Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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