im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
so much tequila, so little girl.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
