you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
