saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
