Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
