I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
