alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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