I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
