I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
