so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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