You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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