i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
