If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
